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ISSN: 2161-0940
Anatomy & Physiology: Current Research
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My Experience as a Care Taker of My Stroke Wife

Klowden M*

Milken Institute, Santa Monica, USA

*Corresponding Author:
Mike Klowden
President, Milken Institute, 1250 Fourth Street
Santa Monica, CA 90401, USA
Tel:
3105704665
Fax:
3105704601
E-mail:
[email protected]

Received date: May 9, 2016; Accepted date: May 30, 2016; Published date: June 6, 2016

Citation: Klowden M (2016) My Experience as a Care Taker of My Stroke Wife. Anat Physiol 6:225. doi:10.4172/2161-0940.1000225

Copyright: © 2016 Klowden M. This is an open-access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License, which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author and source are credited.

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Keywords

Stroke; Paralyze; Stress; Stroke patient

Introduction

I keen to write my experience as care giver to my stroke wife for more 15 years, through my experienced and with the ability to adopt the patient as the responsibility of husband to take care and give her full support either emotionally and her daily living need. On other word caring by holistic approach able to speed up the healing process and changes to recover back to normal position is more and I manage to give her the hope for future life and she has recover up to 90% back to normal condition.

My key factor to be a successful caregiver is by put intention to take care my wife as the responsibility of a husband that been lay down by my religious marriage guideline. One of the responsibilities is to take care wife health and he happiness. As a husband I am committed to take care her health after 20 years of our marriage she give her sacrifice to give birth my kids for seven times. This prove that my wife is a good wife and has no complain of suffering herself to carry our baby for the time of 9 months before gift birth. I am so sympathy with her sacrifice and able to face pain and sorrow just to please her husband desire.

When she at the age of 42, suddenly she was attack by stroke (AVM) and as a result she was paralyze for half body on the right side. After warded for 30 days she was discharge from hospital and started the home care. At the first day at home she cannot walk, very hard to speak and need help for her daily living need (DLN). I have to do everything by myself due to the incident when I hired the maid she always compliant and not satisfied with the service given. At that time I am still working as Senior Manager at Private Company. Every day when I went home she always cry and tear dropped at her chick. Thus make me worried and to avoid her become more depress and tension I made a decision to let go the maid and put the intention to take care of her DLN by myself and assist by my children.

For the first year as caregiver I manage to settle my task successfully as the time passed for third year. Everything was change, at most her attitude and moral been rivers to be depress and easily be a bad mood person. This made me so tired to take care of her desire and attitude and make me bore and start coming of negative talk in my mind that my wife is a burden to my life. This the time that is very critical that I am facing and there was a desire to marriage for second wife. But when I made my personal analyse If I do so that cannot settle my problem if not lucky may be a new problem will be arise and will make my position more stress and possibly will affect my future life, So I made determination to continue my responsibility as husband and continue as caregiver to my wife.

From that date I made a paradigm shift by revise my personal effort and put intention that the entire problem facing by me is a test form His Mercy God Allah. I have to face the entire test with passion and pray to Allah for His help and pleasance and if I am success to face the challenge given, the reward is great at the hereafter. The reward that everybody desire and hope is the get into heaven. With thus intention I manage to face all the pain and sorrow and with patience as the time goes, it becomes part of my daily routine.

After 15 years as caregiver I am adopted all the skill and knowledge what I am have what I am called as holistic approach treatment for stroke patient. Alhamdulillah (thank God) my wife able to get batter healing process and now she able to recover back nearly 90% back to normal. As at current status she manage to walk without stick, able to do herself for HLN and the most important is that she has recover back to normal person in term her thinking, memory and very confident for her future life.

The latest development with my wife performance, one doctor whose treat my wife admire my effort to give special care to able my wife healing process go smooth and he endorse my method of treatment is better to explore more for future method of prolong sickness patient. As result of my success he appoints me as a consultant to his pilot project to set up a centre for holistic treatment.

As caregiver for the first one year is the time I learnt a lot about taking care of our lover who need aide nearly 100% of her daily living need. As the time goes on, she has regained her movement, the mental healing is more improved and she manage to talk as normal person. During this time it happen in the range of 3, 4 and 5th year, Thus the critical and hard time for to face the attitude of stroke survivor which are very sensitive, fussy, moody that made me as caregiver very stress to handle. Thus the time I am nearly give up taking care of her. During this critical situation I has to use all my soft skill regarding, motivation, communication, interpersonal, time management and reactive thinking, Alhamdulillah with patient I manage to resolved all the hardship and problems facing and finally with the blessing of God, I able to prolong my responsibility to take care my stroke wife with successfully gain her healing process and till now after 15 years’ time, she war recover back her confident, cheerful live and the most important achievement is that she can adopted the handicap of her right arm and leg to keep on the live as normal person, thus tons of experience I learnt in the time frame of 15 years, is a valuable knowledge that need to share with publics, who are now caring their spouse as the stroke survivor. By writing my experience in this book all our friend over the world can get the basic info as guidance to those newly get the title of a caregiver of stroke survivor.

I hope my experience which I am recorded in this book will be one of the sources for those face the same problem or those who has to take care stroke survivor. Hopefully this book can help those facing depress and stress as a care giver to try my method of healing process to recover back the stroke patient and also to manager him or herself as caregiver which may be facing stress and depress situation. God’s blessing.

Emotional and Behavioural Changes after Stroke

Emotional factors in recovery

Following a stroke, my wife become anxiety, fear, and frustration at the first day she recover and bring back home. Initially she suffers of confusion that makes it impossible to do the simplest mental tasks. She often feels helpless and dependent, and her sense of self-worth is diminished. I as caregiver and all family members are important to understand the survivor's limitations and allow an appropriate time for recovery. Self-worth, confidence and enjoyment of life will gradually return. My wife as first few months her healing progress momentum very slow. I as caregiver and responsible husband have to be very patient to look after her that needs a comprehensive care. What I am doing, try so much to give encouragement to her. It is an extremely important motivating factor for stroke survivors. Caregivers should avoid being critical. So what I am doing, try to accept that my wife been attacked by stroke is plan by the Greater Creator Allah. The happening is planned by Allah for the good of our self. Avoid any nagging tends to upset and anger stroke survivors, and discourages rather than encourages effort.

Determination is essential in overcoming the effects of a stroke. Patients must be willing to adapt to the disability and be convinced that by therapy they will improve. It has to be stressed that the will to recover does pay off. Nothing helps raise the body and spirit of the survivor of a recent stroke like seeing how their own hard work helps their recovery. The hope for her recovery is merging by 6 month duration of home rehabilitation. She starts to gain confident to do herself with minimum movement.

• Set attainable goals the road to recovery is built of simple achievements.

• Involve the survivor in daily activities and routines.

• Encourage independent activities, while recognizing the survivor’s limitations.

• Try to maintain social contacts within the family and community.

• I am practiced the following guidelines that encourage a positive recovery.

Set attainable goals the road to recovery is built of simple achievements

What I am doing is to put the hope that my wife will recover back to normal position if we pray to the God, Allah the Mercy. My wife was coaching to perform pray and put the hope to Allah that the recovery process is going to improve her disability and handicap. I supported and encouraged her to do the exercise even a simple movement of finger, leg, tight and so forth. By doing this she will be more confident to do the movement of her muscle and bit by bit the improvement and changes occur. This bring her confident to the future live. This is the most effective inside booster to speed up her healing process. Alhamdulillah the change is great and her achievement very tremendous.

Involve the survivor in daily activities and routines

The most important thing try to gain back patient confident, the disability of right arm and leg after stroke attack was limited her movement and make her difficulties to do her daily living need (DLN). For the few week I am doing all her DLN but after six moth she recovery slightly better, then she manage to do herself a few activity such as drinking and eating. I am keeping coaching and giving motivation to her that her healing for recovery are better and faster. Thus giving her inner self confidence and to achieve better will and hope for her to be independent. Alhamdulillah it seem the strategy was successful and able her to heal faster.

Encourage independent activities, while recognizing the survivor's limitations

I give encourage to my wife to be independent in doing her DLN. A few accidents happen when she drops her glass and the glass break. She was so frustrated and always said that her now to be disable person that can do nothing, But I and my family try to motivate her that she has to learn again to do herself with certain limitation. The recovery process what we called as the new born child has to learn new thing every day to able her be an independent person as the child grow up, By giving fully support and motivate her every day it seem batter improvement for her to gain recover confident to be independent person, Allhamdulillah after one year we did this process she has acquire more healing for arm and leg movement and able to do small thing by herself. Now the time pass over 15 year, she manage to do a light job at home such as washing cloths by washing machine, washing plate and glass and other kitchen ware. She manages to take bath by herself. Those achievements make her more confidence of recovery back.

The effects of stroke

Different sides of the brain deal with different areas of human intellectual functioning. Generally speaking, brain damage due to a stroke causes the kinds of problems noted below. However, it is important to note that brain injury in left-handed individual’s results in effects that are exactly the opposite of those explained below.

Left brain injury (Right-sided weakness (Hemiplegia))

Those with left brain injury and a paralyzed right side are more likely to have problems with speech and language. Apart from language problems, these individuals tend to be cautious, hesitant, and anxious and disorganized when faced with an unfamiliar problem. Many of those with right hemiplegia need frequent assurance that they are doing okay, with lots of immediate positive feedback. Breaking tasks down into steps and practicing often will aid learning.

This happen to my wife, nearly one month after stroke attack, my wife have problem with speech, she will take some time to say a words, neglect to talk to people. Most of the day she used to be silent and also happen to be very slow memory and take some time to recognize something, even myself whose take care of her every day she take a few minutes to recognize at the time in the morning when I meet her. The role of caregiver at this point is very crucial. He must be patient and must put intention try his best to help patient to recover their memory by consistently communicate with stroke survivor. Beside that caregiver must invoke to God to get His help for faster healing process of the stroke survivor. Alhamdulillah by keep on doing this my wife able to regain back her speech and memory after one and half year.

Right brain injury (Left Hemiplegia)

People often assume that if a stroke has not affected language and speech, a stroke survivor is not impaired. This is not true! Left hemiplegia may result in problems with spatial-perceptual tasks - the ability to judge distance, size, position, rate of movement, form and how parts relate to wholes. People with severe spatial-perceptual deficits may have more trouble with self-care than those with equally severe language deficits. They may not be able to read a paper - not because they can't read, but because they lose their place on the page. They tend to have a behavioral style that is too quick and impulsive, and behave in a way that makes overestimating their abilities easy. They are often unaware of their deficits, and may think themselves capable of tasks they are not-driving for instance, which even with minor spatial-perceptual disabilities can be dangerous.

One-side neglect

Many stroke survivors have visual field defects - up to half their visual field (what they can see with both eyes) is, in simplest terms, not there. This is usually compensated for by turning the head. However, some individuals, usually those with left hemiplegia, have what ranges from a reduced to no sense that their left side exists, or that anything or anybody approaching from that side exists. This is called neglect, and is potentially isolating for these individuals.

Depression

Depression resulting from a stroke is one of the most difficult factors for a spouse and family to deal with. A certain amount of crying, though upsetting to the family, may be a natural and normal emotional response to the stroke survivor's greatly changed circumstances. However, chemical changes caused by stroke may result in deeper depression and apathy, with the survivor appearing passive and detached, a state that will usually improve with time.

This situation is absolute true happen to my wife, she most likely to cry every times my relative come to see her, some time she do not want to talk. What I am doing to help her, by communicate to her regularly every day, keep on talking and give her confident that the situation happen just for a few month, she must have the strong will to try herself to regain back her ability to move, to talk, to walk and so forth. By doing this she will put intention to be dedicated keep on trying her best to do the activities that can recover back her normal condition as before stroke attack. Allahmdulillah this strategy is able to give a good healing for her after one year.

Emotional Liability

Often, excessive crying seems to have little relationship to sadness or what is happening around the survivor. This loss of emotional control due to brain injury is called emotional liability. Someone who is emotionally labile may not be sad when crying, happy when laughing, or angry when appearing hostile. If possible, interrupting the emotional behavior of such a person (by clapping hands or snapping fingers) is usually a good idea, saving them embarrassment and fatigue. What I am doing to recover back my wife from emotional problem, by giving special care to her, I am caring her as like caring of newly born baby. For the first few months I have to accord her at all the day in the room. Always beside her and communicate to her. Sleeping together, day and night, her emotional slowly back to normal after one year duration of taking her personally by me.

By doing this special care to her, I manage to avoid her from depress and think negatively, by looking to her right arm and leg cannot move, her mind thinking of be a disable person, worry her future will not able to perform as a good wife, cannot look after her child and thousands of questioning. To correct her negative thinking the spouse must show his sincerity and honesty in taking care during this critical situation. Caregiver must be patient, to deal with stroke survivor. Because the healing process may take some time, if we are not patient and give up half way, the survivor will dump with problem and stress. This will affect the healing process and also be a resistant that can slow down the recovery process.

Change in Personality

Changes in personality and emotional response are common after a stroke. The type, size and location of a stroke, as well as the individual's previous personality all have a bearing on what these changes will be. The stroke survivor may seem a different person, showing feelings of anger, caution or anxiety that are completely out of character. The affected individual may also feel this-and feel less of a person.

This is the most difficult and challenge situation to be face by caregiver. For the first few month we cannot predict patient personality, keep on changing from month to month. After some time the caregiver facing stress situation and if we cannot coop up and manage our stress it to be depression. This happened to me for the second year when I was taking care of my stroke wife. In my case I had to support with Alprazolam (zanex) to release my stress, but this medication only effective for some time only. To resolve this problem, I procured following action:

• Pray (solat) to Allah, zikir in the mid night (10,000) times said: “ALLAHU AKBAR” (Allah the Great) [1].

• Pray for salvation please Allah to forgive any sin, ask for His Pleasure and give His consent to able myself to take care of my wife.

• Recite Quran, understanding the meaning and their teachings; try to implement in my daily life. (This to be routine of daily activities, I has to schedule my dairy).

• Donation to be a daily routine ( If I have more money, amount of donation is more, when I have little money, donate by small amount, try to be consistent).

Thus the personal review and practiced that has heal my depression and stress. When myself able to regain confidence and back to normal, I able to concentrate to take care to my disable wife. By put my intention to fulfil my obligation as a husband that was ordinance by Islam. By this intention, Allah gives me the confident, patient and doing with sincerity. By setting my mind and applied the paradigm shift, all the burden and hardship which I am facing in taking care of my wife for more 15 years was able to be a motivation factor for me to get Allah reward in hereafter hoping of Paradise.

When my wife saw the sincerity and dedication that been shown by her husband in taking care her, from time to time her morality was improved, she can think positively and able to accepts the handicap given by Allah is part of the process to uplift the rank of His humble and to delete the sin which was done before, That the promise of Allah to those who is patient with His test and challenge in this universe, Amin.

Memory Deficits

Almost any brain injury, however slight, may cause memory problems, contributing to language, spatial-perceptual and retention span difficulties. For most stroke survivors, remembering old information (from before the stroke) remains easy while new learning is difficult. My wife happens at early stage of recovery after stroke attack her memory was seriously deficits. She some time to recognize myself even I just sit in front of her. After a few minute afterward she can remember me. This situation took about three months. If the person is rarely she meet, the time gaps to recover back her deficit memory will take longer time. In a few cases she will take more than 15 to 5 minute to recognize something.

After 5 years, she able to recover back her memory. What my wife did is every day she recite Quran. Beside that most of the midnight of the week she did special prayer and she do to Allah asked His forgiveness and pleasant to heal her pain and sorrow. Now she back to normal in term of memory and her thinking and imagination. Sometime her memory is better than me. Thank God, Allah the mighty.

Generalization

Some stroke survivors are capable of learning new information, but are unable to apply that learning to other similar situations (generalization). For instance, they may make safe transfers to and from a wheelchair while in the hospital, but are unable to once at home. They may become very sensitive to and often fearful of changes in their environment, and will thus benefit from, and be comforted by, an effectively established routine. Generalization situation was happen to my wife, at the early stage of home treatment she neglect to learn new things, she look hopeless and always asked for my help for everything of the daily life needs. To overcome this attitude, what I am doing by taking care her desire and always with her at the early stage of home rehabilitation, it take me about 1 year to slowly put some effort to her and give morale support and always talk to her how to recover back her ability to be independent. By doing this technique she start to regain confident after 12 months, and bit by bit she try to put herself in the position of stroke recover that will be heal and be as normal as before she was attack by stroke.

Beside that I coaching her to stay at mid night to perform solat tahajjud, and back to Allah to give His pleasant, so that my wife able to gain back her confident and slowly be an independent person in dealing and preparing her personal daily need. With the help of Allah after one year she start to gain back her confident and her memory becoming batter from time to time. Now the time passed away about 15 year, my wife able to gain back her confident and her memory healing come to nearly 99% of normal person. Alhamdulillah (thanks God. The lesson from my wife achievement in regain back her confident and she more or less can deal all the daily need of her by her own. This is a positive development she has shown and proven that the personal confident and put the hope to Allah is the most effective instrument to gain backlog.

Sensory Deprivation and Over-stimulation

Many recent stroke survivors are overwhelmed by too much stimulation. When visiting, go singly or in small, quiet groups, and speak one at a time. Conversely, some stroke survivors may have diminished sensations of touch, pressure, sight or pain, causing them to suffer a constant level of sensory deprivation, leading to psychological stress. The quiet of night may compound this-a radio playing softly or a soft light left on may help.

Quality Control

Even minor brain damage affects a memory related area of behavior called quality control. This refers to how well individuals check and control their own behavior. A previously fastidious person may fail to bathe or zip his fly, or a formerly polite person may become rude and profane. Caregivers need to be aware of these deficits, and praise appropriate efforts to compensate for them.

Tips How to Take Care for Stroke Survivor

The tips mentioned below is one method of how the kin caregivers to help patients to recover (Insya Allah). Stroke can strike anybody without any earlier sign; the patient and their family will be panic and shocked condition in case of sudden stroke. They we will bring the patient to the hospital for emergency treatment, after a few days (usually more than two weeks) warded in the hospital and when the patient's condition is relatively stable, the doctor will ask The family took home patients to stay at home and follow-up treatment such as physiotherapy treatment and also get follow up treatment in hospital. Based on my experience taking care of my paralyzed wife, on the first day she discharged from hospital and took her home, the following actions should be done:

Tip 1. Kin prepared with the paradigm shift (facing the patient with totally change his/hers characters): Next of kin must make preparations to make a change in mindset as starting on the day the patient was brought back home, the patient need the help from others for their daily life. Our minds must be made one change that perception (husband / wife) who became one of the important people in your family has been unable to help us again. Means starting on the day we had to do all the work related to the household in isolation. (Even more so if the kids are still small).

Tip 2. Fed drugs according to the schedule prescribed by doctor: We need to ensure patients were fed drugs according to the schedule prescribed by doctor. To ensure the patient's medication needs to be completed. Should be provided a special diary, bag clocked drugs given to patients. This method can avoid giving medication to patients forget. If not noted in the diary likely forgot to apply the medicine and it can cause the patient at risk to be attacked again by a stroke. The risk of a second stroke catfish will cause the process to be more complicated treatments and patients will be more severe.

Tip 3. Need mixes personal knowledge on the nature of patients: We'll take care of the patient must make reading about some changes in personal attitudes will happen to stroke patients.

Need to keep emotions: Change the patient's personal characteristic is that it is easy to be sensitive, fast and sulk. This occurs because before the attack, stroke pain, all he can do his own work, and he will do so in accordance with the custom of you. When he was sick cause he could not do alone, therefore if patients need something to obtain the assistance of others. If demand is slow cashed out by the guard, he will easily sensitive, whether angry, nag or cry, so we are taking care of patients should be proactive, and ensure all matters required by the patient as soon as possible. One very important thing is to keep emotions and feelings of patients.

Patients should undergo physiotherapy / traditional massage: Physiotherapy treatment is one way of treatment recommended by doctors for stroke patients recover. Some forms of exercise will be given to the patient by a member of physiotherapy. Training to move the limb through physiotherapy will thereby all patients with weak nerves returned functions like the original. This FISOTHERAPHY take some time (usually takes 3-4 months or longer).

In addition FISOTHERAPHY treatment, TRADITIONAL massage is also very important, my experience treating his wife found traditional massage can recover quicker to recover compared with physiotherapy, however be careful spills masseur is properly skilled. My wife is able to walk without using cane after 6 months of intensive traditional massage. Every season it took about 4 hour duration. Other thing that the massager doing is by talking to the patient while her is massaging, by doing this, she able to recover back patient memory and give a positive impact for my wife level of confident to proceed her life as a handicap person if the heal process do not success fully.

Tip 4. Help patients to perform prayers (solat), read books related to religious teaching and understanding: Primary caregivers need help patients to perform prayer five times a day without fail. To make it easier for patients appropriate time should be set to enable the shape of the amblition (wudud) can be used to pray twice, for instance - time for zohor prayer at the end of time and the time of Asr prayers at the beginning of time, Maghrib and Isha at the end of the period at the beginning of time. Morning prayers can be at the beginning or at the end of time, according to the ability of the patient to wake up in the morning.

Religious books should also be given to stroke patients from time to time. Because patients have a lot of free time, with emphasis on reading religious books, it will provide an understanding of religion to its readers. If this reading culture in the minds of patients entered, it will provide a change of mindset to ensure that patients, especially for chronic pain given by God to man is one of the ways of God to remove our sins that are past. If we are patient and pleased to receive it, we will be rewarded very much in the afterlife and heaven are filled with enjoyment.

Tip 5. Program schedule to enable the patient exercise, socialize and shopping: We also need to set the table so that the patient can exercise (walking with strollers), go to the resort, and shopping. If held this schedule will enable patients to enjoy the leisure, picnics and shopping along another family, it will give patients confident and set his mind that he also can perform various activities such as healthy people as well. This method I found deeply affects the recovery of the patient mind to give new determination that he too can live like other people healthy, when the mind has been restored perception of life it will help with quicker to recover ill stroke.

Socializing activities may also reduce patient stress (because the lame will feel stress when he was just sitting on the bed nearly 24 hours). Stress management is important to prevent patients suffer from a depressive illness.

Tip 6. Given immediate family information and understanding of stroke patients: All immediate family of the patient should be given a description and understanding of stroke patients. Informed that stroke patients will change in character compared with the period before the onset of stroke. When all the family understands the taboos and take care of stroke patients, it will help the patient from feeling the pressure (stress). Patients cared for by family members will give hope to patients that it can be cured, if the patient has a positive mind set, it will help to quickly recover and live in a playful manner.

Conversely, if the majority of kin take non-static to therapy patients, helping casualness, always grumpy because the patient is said to bring bad luck and troubled families, this causes the patient to stress and can lead to stroke the second time the next attack. Usually when you attack the second time it berkmungkinan more severe and can be fatal.

Tip 7. Feed with vegetarian diet and try to eat less red meat: Doctors advise patients feed with vegetables and white meat. Try to eat less red meat. Eat more fish as a source of protein. Vegetarian diet can reduce cholesterol in the blood that can cause heart stroke. Vegetables can also control high blood pressure. At earlier stage after stoke attack, the stroke patients should be given food that is soft and easy to digest such as rice porridge, soup, water, fish or egg and so on.

Tip 8. Do blood screen at least one a year: Periodic blood screen tests need to be conducted to determine in more detail the content of the blood, blood type, and diseases will we be potential based on the structure of blood, blood types and also the state of sugar in the blood.

Tip 9. Proof your compassion: Stroke patients will assume his partner had changed compassion against him; he has a physical defect causing her husband would find another woman to get the affection of many other women. This problem is common for stroke patients to think that her husband will be taken by another woman. Such situation causes him to be left alone. This negative thinking should be stop by keep caring and always beside her.

Tip 10. Plan your holiday – honeymoon: Plan your honeymoon style holiday at least once a year is one measure that can enhance the atmosphere of love and affection of husband and wife. For a wife who suffered a stroke, when the husband took a vacation would cause noticed she still cherished by her husband. This will bring the 'flash back' during the honeymoon after marriage first. This exciting experience will be a catalyst for stroke patient rehabilitation process minds

Tip 11. House renovation accordingly: To keep the stroke patient safety, equipment in the bathroom need to be modified to facilitate use by patients with stroke. The bathroom floor should be installed to ensure that the rubber mate the bathroom floor is always safe from spilled water shower gel, soap or water. As for those who stroke if there are few parts of slippery floors as a result of contact with water, soap or shower gel it can cause patients to slip and fall (for stroke patients is difficult to balance the body when it derailed, causing it to fall over). If the stroke patient falls it can cause a variety of serious injuries that may occur to the spinal slip dish that allows consequence paralyzed from the waist to toe. If this situation happens, it will result in increased severe stroke patients and can be attacked by a second stroke. Custom stroke two times to have an adverse effect greater

Tip 12. Stress management: Either the husband or the wife who had to care for their partner who had a stroke, she must undergo Stress Management. This is important because of the increasing burden of responsibility can lead us to experience stress. Prolonged stress if not managed properly can result in us being attacked by various diseases such as hypertension, depression, etc. Based on the various issues that arise in the dictionary daily life, then we should have the power to run the physical and mental stress. Among the things that need to be emphasized is:

• Accept the fact that the hardship and suffering incurred by spouses and jug root of the burden of responsibility we bear is the test and tested of God for us. God chose us to receive a test is because Allah Knowing that we were able to face His test. We also need to feelings set in our minds, that we have been selected by God to receive His test. If we managed to deal with it will be given a great reward in the hereafter. Trouble today is rewarding to occupy the heaven of God in the afterlife.

• Rest assured that the hardship faced today, we are promised paradise with Allah is full of enjoyment. Thus we will assume that any trouble would be follow by ultimate victory. Therefore we need to be patient in the face of any challenge.

• All problems will be resolved shall be based on our ability to tackle it. If we are not able to finish alone can get other people advice. Help can be obtained from the nearest family of kin, Intimates or of certain bodies. The author's experience in dealing with stress is to read the Koran every day, besides that we also need to understand and appreciate the content of the verses were read, as far as possible try we practice the teachings that is described in the Qur'an in our lives, hopefully we will get a guide in the blessings of life in the world and also achieved success in the hereafter. Also we need to pray more and celebrations and pray to God if you have any deadlock in solving a problem. Hopefully there will be a solution.

Tip 13. Helping patient to be positive mindset: Pre achieved whole with stroke that have a positive mindset that healing can be with the permission of Allah, and it is also striving to restore the physical condition of paralysis. Positive thoughts when patient have to heal, it will give a will to patients to perform physical movements such as undergoing exercise, try to do the work normally done by him before the attack by the stroke. When this situation exists in patient’s illusion, the patient will be more confident to do all activities that will strengthen weak muscles, when the healing happen little by little it will be continued until recovery. Always tell the patient that who was attacked by time will be better. Hopefully with set mindset that says every disease can be cured by God. Makes him not demoralized and will be the man God persistent exams. If this situation can be constructed in stroke patients themselves, making it increasingly eager to do adventure activities that can help to faster the healing process.

Tip 14. Time management: Caregivers of stroke patients also need increase time management skills. This is important because when we take care of stroke patients is a busy time for our 24-hour time period. If not properly managed is likely to occur out of time to solve all needs are routine for stroke patients every day. If it is not a priority task in the order of the important and commonly well as less important. If the conduct is made structure in order kepetingan then we can solve all the requirements within 24 hours. Importance of Time Management:

• Time can be used for beneficial activities.

• Activities can be carried out efficiently and effectively (to avoid wasting time).

• Can achieve balance in their use time can be divided equally between the activities of production (working time), recreational activities (leisure time) , and time to relax.

Tip 15. Establish nature of patience in yourself: Caregiver shall establish the nature of the patient in order to enable him to face the trials and hardships in maintaining the stroke patients. These properties are important for stroke patients will usually take a long time and patient recovery rate is slow. The nature of the patient is also necessary to enable caregivers to handle stroke patients is so high each. A psychiatric patient who is sensitive and touchy, fast sulking, difficult nature nag patients is also a pressure to the guards. Therefore it should memunai high patience in life guards.

Tip 16. Characteristics of holidays: Guard paralyzed patients should train himself to be a man who is diligent in sundries in performing daily tasks. This trait is important to enable it to perform activities help a sick wife and also take care of the household, in addition to leave home to find tezeki for family living. With a favorite pastime of eating it can do the work begins early in the morning (before dawn) till late at night.

These tips are purely for guidance only, efficiency is dependent on the individual how he can menadaptasi all situations that stroke patients in rawatinya. If guards can affect the patient emotionally so displays a positive attitude in the face of allegations of God with the pain and distress experienced it is God's grace that is in the process to settle the sins of past patients, the process to increase the degree of patient and guardian should be able to fully subsides ditepuhi and patience. When patients and carers can receive all these allegations with the utmost devotion, God willing, it can be passed without any hassle and groaning even take a dozen years or decades. Insha Allah.

Healing by Reciting and Listening to Quran / Music

At early stage of been attack by stroke, my wife quite some time become fits. Especially when she is lonely and thinking of her future that is very dull and uncertain when she will be heal. To resolve this tragic situation, I am seeking of alternative treatment because the medication what she was taken just to heal for short time and not the truly solution in the long run. I been told by some of my friends, the best solution to heal a stroke patient is by listening to Quran. How could listening to the verses of Allah affect the brain cells? What's the scientific explanation to this phenomenon? Is there a hidden energy in the Holy Quran?

My wife is not fluent in reading Quran at the first place. To resolve this, I bought a book of Quran with a Pen Reader. This Quran was program in such when pointing out the pen to the verses of Quran it will read the verses accordingly, the reciter of the verses can be selected world famous reciter. The pen reader also can be program to slow the speed of reciter. My wife was with the Holy Quran all the time; even while she is sleeping. I used to leave the pen reader on with reciting the Holy Quran. As a matter of fact, I had no idea at that time about the technique of learning during sleep.

After a few months, I noticed great changes inside her. She felt that each one of her brain cells is vibrating and reacting with the voice of the Holy Quran recitation she was listening to. She was memorizing the Holy Quran using the technique of listening and repeating the chapter many times. Therefore, she found that the verses of the Holy Quran were getting easily into her memory. Twenty years ago my father told that listening to the Holy Quran recitation reprogrammed the brain cells completely! But recently I was really surprised to read about the experiments of the scientists in treating some of the incurable diseases using the sound waves of music. Some of the researchers such as the American scientist Annie Williams, who is using the music therapy technique, have come out with important results. Those results, however, was limited until now because of the inability of the music to create the required effects on the cells. Nevertheless, she asserts that she has come up with unbelievable results in treating the Colon Cancer and the Brain Tumor and other diseases. She also states that the sense of creativity has been increased in each one of the patients who has listened to the recorded music [2].

Consequently, I'd like here to mention to my dear readers the results of my wife whose recite and listening to the recitation of the Holy Quran: She feel now that she have become stronger than before, that the immunity of her body has increased ,and her character has become better ,especially in dealing with people [3]. The Holy Quran has also awakened the sense of creativity inside her mind as the result of reading and listening to the Holy Quran constantly.

I can say my dear reader that constant listening to the Holy Quran increases the creativity in the human being and this is what happened to my wife. I still remember that before reading and memorizing the Holy Quran she was unable to read a single sentence correctly, but now she is able to recite fluently. So we can see that listening to the Holy Quran does not only help in healing illnesses, but also contributes to developing the human personality and the communication skills together with the ability of creativity and coming up with new ideas. Therefore, you, dear reader, can try this and definitely will get fantastic results.

In 1839, the scientist" Enrick William Duve" discovered that exposing the brain to certain wave sounds can affect it positively and negatively [4]. When he exposed the ears to different wave sound frequencies, he found that the brain reacts with those sound vibrations. Then, scientists found that the brain cells are in a state of vibration during its life time. Each cell vibrates in a certain system and is affected by the other cells around it. So it can be noticed that any bad incident can lead to a disorder in the vibration system of the brain. Neural cell in the brain are in a state of constant vibration. This cell contains a complex program through which billion cells around interact in an amazing coordination that exhibit the greatness of God [5]. Any disorder in this program leads to a deficiency in the immunity system and causes diseases.

The mechanism of the cells in processing information depends on vibrating and producing electric fields through which a human being can talk, move, drive and interact with others [6]. Therefore, when negative actions such as the shocks, embarrassing situations or problems that happen to a person during his/her life accumulate, they cause a kind of mess in the brain cells. This mess is irksome and exhausting for the brain because it does an extra unnecessary work.

Before the baby is born, his brain cells begin vibrating rhythmically in a balanced way. But after its birth, each action will influence the brain cells and the way they vibrate. So if some of the brain cells are unprepared to tolerate high frequencies, this may cause a disorder in the vibrating system which in turn leads to a lot of physical and psychological diseases. Nowadays, scientists state that each form of behaviour is a result of a certain vibration of the brain cells and they asserts that exposing a human being to certain sound frequencies frequently changes the way in which the brain cells vibrate (i.e. changes the frequency of the cellular vibration). Consequently, there are frequencies that make the brain cells vibrate positively and actively and there are others that hurt the brain cells and my cause death [7]. Therefore, the important question now is what are the frequencies that can be suitable for the brain??

Scientists also discovered that the DNA strap inside each cell vibrates in a certain way as well. This strap contains the necessary information for life, so any changes resulted from an accident, a problem, a virus or a disease attacking the body could make it vibrate less than the normal speed. And the best way to make this strap perform well is reprogramming this strap using a certain wave sound [8]. Thus, the strap as the scientists assert, reacts with those waves and starts vibrating vigorously. However, there are some waves that might damage this strap. Recently, many therapists treat people using wave sound vibration to cure some incurable diseases such as Cancer and some other chronic diseases in which the traditional medicine has failed. They also found this way useful in treating some psychological diseases such as Schizophrenia, Anxiety, sleeping problems and some bad habits such as smoking, drug addiction and etc. [9]

What is the Best Medicine?

The best medicine to cure all illnesses is the Holy Quran. This is a result of a long time experience in treating people. Many cases that had incurable illnesses recovered after exposing them to the recitation of Holy Quran. That is because of the ability of Holy Quran in rebalancing the brain cells and increasing their capability in performing well. Each cell has a vibrating system that Allah has created to do its job and those cells do not understand the speech language but them deals with frequencies and vibrations like those in the mobile phones which receive electromagnetic waves and in turn send other waves. Therefore, we can say, metaphorically, that in each cell there is a very complex mobile phone. And you can imagine thousand billions of cells in your brain vibrating rhythmically in a way that no human being can understand realize or imitate and if any cell was being in disorder, all the body would be in a disorder. So Holy Quran is a blessing that urges us to thank Allah. But do we really appreciate such a blessing?

According to the recent discoveries, scientists say that any illness must make a change in reprogramming the cells and each cell works according to a certain program from birth to death. Therefore, any physical or psychological disorder causes confusion in the vibration system of the cell which makes a disorder in the cellular program. So we need to restore and correct this program in order to heal this disorder.

During my meditation with the Holy Quran, I found that there is a very precise digital system in each verse. Those verses, however, do not only carry the language of numbers but also carry something like what we call "data" or "programs" that can deal with the cells. Therefore, we can say that those verses carry the language of those cells. The reader may think this unscientific theory, but I assure you that I found a lot of verses in the Quran confirming that the Holy Quran verses carry a lot of data exactly like those normal radio waves used in carrying information, music, sounds and so on.

Allah says in His Holy book:

“Had it been possible for a Lecture to cause the mountains to move, or the earth to be torn asunder, or the dead to speak, this Quran would have done so. Nay, but Allah's is the whole command.”

If we deeply analyze this verse we, we can come up with this question: How can the Holy Quran cause the mountain to move, or the earth to be torn or the dead to speak? The answer is through the data that only dead people can understand.

As the mountains are concerned, it is known that the earth layers move slowly nearly few centimeters a year, driving the mountains to move, too. This movement is resulted from thermal waves produced from the melting area under the crust. Therefore, we can say that the Quran contains data that can deal with these thermal waves causing layers to stir and move faster that makes cracks and earthquakes; and cuts the crust into many small pieces. This great power is put in the Holy Quran, but we are not allowed to reach it. Instead, we have been told about this great power to realize how great this Holy Book is. Now, can this Holy Book which has this advantage of this great power heal weak creatures like human beings?

When Allah tells us that this Holy Quran is a" healing", this means that it carries data and programs sufficient to heal the damaged cells in the body and cures what the doctors was incapable of.

The Easiest Medicine for All Illnesses and Diseases

Dear reader! I can say confidently according to my experience that from a simple change in your life you can get unexpected big results that may change your life completely as it happened to me before you. What you have to do is to listen to the recitation of the Holy Quran as much as you can all the time: in the morning, in the afternoon, at night, while you are asleep, when you awake up and before you sleep. What you need to listen to the Holy Quran is to have a media such as a Lap Top, a tape recorder, a small iPod or mp3 with headphones, a TV, a radio or any other device.

The Holy Quran recitation sound has wave sounds that have a certain frequency and a certain wave length. These waves spread wave fields that affect the brain positively and restore its balance. This grants the body a strong immunity to resist illnesses or diseases such as Cancer. Cancer is a disorder in the performance of the cells, so listening to the Holy Quran reprograms the cells as a computer which was full of viruses and was "reformatted" and downloaded with new programs in order to perform effectively. This is what man-made programs do for computers. What about the programs which are carried in the words of Allah, the creator of all human beings.

The Amazing Effect Resulting from Listening to Quran

The continuous listening to the recitation of Holy Quran gives you the following real fruitful results:

• Increase the immunity of the body.

• Enhance the creativity sense.

• Improve the concentration ability.

• Heal the chronic and incurable illnesses.

• Change the behaviour and enable people to communicate.

• Better and gain trust.

• Create inner peace and heal the neural tensions.

• Heal nervousness, irritation and precipitation.

• Improve the ability of taking right decisions.

• Decrease fear and hesitation.

• Improve and strengthen the personality.

• Heal the normal illnesses such as allergy, headache, flu, etc.

• Improve the speech ability.

• Protect from diseases such as cancer and so on.

• Change some bad habits such as excessive eating and smoking.

Dear reader! those things I mentioned above are the results I myself got: I remember I was attacked by acute panic disorder but after the continuous listening to the Holy Quran the panic was gone without any effort. I was really surprised "how my life changed and why? But after I read about the recent technique in healing, one of which was the therapy by sounds and sound frequencies, I knew the secret of this great change in my life. It was listening to the recitation of the Holy Quran. What I simply did was only listening to the Holy Quran continuously.

To conclude, I’d like to tell you a fact that I encountered and really tried: howsoever you spend your time in reading or listening to the Holy Quran, you will find that this time will not be wasted nor decreased. But you will notice that you will always have an extra time. You will find that the same works that takes sometimes days or hours to be done can be finished in few minutes only!

"O mankind! There has come unto you an exhortation from your Lord, a healing for that which is in the breasts, and guidance and a mercy for believers. Say: In the bounty of Allah and in His mercy: therein let them rejoice. It is better than what they hoard". Besides reciting the Quran, my wife did the prayer at mid night, it seen a lot of improvement of her attitude and mind setting. She was able to recover her brain healing and most likely to be as normal person.

Benefits of Solat for the Muslim Society @ the Ummah

• Solat is the best platform for a Muslim, male and female to bring oneself closer to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

• Solat cleanses one's sins.

• Solat removes one's faults and improves one's decorum or akhlak.

• Solat removes ill will and envy from one's heart and mind.

• Solat is the best way to increase one's stature in life and amongst the Ummah.

• Muslims who pray and perform their solat diligently will be showered with Allah's Mercy as long as he or she maintains solat.

• If a Muslim is thrown into the Hellfire, the scorching flames will not touch the areas of one's physique which touches the ground when in prostration (parts of one's body that comes into contact with the earth or ground upon the act of sujud.

• Solat carried out with full knowledge and understanding plus focus will enable one to sujud to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala on Yaum al Qiyamah.

• Solat increases one's internal energy and tranquilizes one's soul.

• Solat feeds one's heart and soul with the Rahmah and Sakinah of Allah Azza Wa Jalla.

• Solat is the doorway to one's receiving of Allah's Baraqah and Sustenance @ Razq.

• Solat is the Noor @ Light that brightne's up a Mukmin's Ruuh in the Duniya and Akhirat.

• Solat cures many diseases of the mind and heart @ psychological aspects-a praying soul attains a heightened sense of peace and tranquility- a balanced individual, capable of handling whatever trials and tribulations that prop up in one's life.

• Allah Azza Wa Jalla commands His servants to seek His Help both in the worldly needs and those of the Akhirat @ Hereafter by carrying out the Solat, which is made up of prayers @ do'a.

• Those perform their solat in the jamaah @ congregation can feel and experience the peace and protection of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. The power of association is what my Shaikh used to remind us. Strength through unity and oneness of purpose, which is to seek Allah's Blessings.

• Solat enables one to be in constant prayer and devotion towards Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

• Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala doubles the rewards and blessings of those who are in Solat.

• Those who take care and fulfill their Solat will be those whose amals and ibadat are accepted by Allah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem.

• By taking care of one's Solat, a Muslim is prevented from being amongst the Munafiks.

• By being amongst those who take care of the solat, a Muslim will be safe from being resurrected with the likes of the Fir'aun, Qarun, Hamman and Ubay bin Khalaf on the Yaum al Qiyamat!

• Solat beings peace of mind.

• Solat enlightens one's heart and brightens up one's face and refreshes one's spirit.

• Solat prevents one from committing vile acts and abhorrable conduct.

• Solat prevents one from being cruel and oppressive.

• Solat prevents one from losing control of one's nafs @ lust.

• Solat ensures prolonged bliss and acts a barrier towards misfortune!

• Solat brings forth blessings and removes worries or tribulations of the heart.

• Solat heals mental and psychological conditions and controls one's sexual lusts and associated sins.

• Solat is the motivating factor that helps one to do good for society by bringing one into contact with likeminded individuals, united in faith and goodwill and acts as cementing glue that binds the hearts and minds of the Mukmins into enjoining the good and forbidding the munkar.

• Solat when carried out in a jamaah @ congregation is an excellent platform for social mingling and interaction amongst the society @ ummah.

• Solat Jamaah when carried out correctly is enlightening and brings one into contact with the learned ones in the masjid and opens up the doors of learning for all when the 'Majlis Ilmu' is carried out by the scholars and imam of the masjid. Learning opportunities for those who seek the truth and knowledge of Islam.

• Solat cleanses the hearts of the Muslims and prevents one from being a hypocrite @ munafik.

• Solat opens up the hearts and minds of the Muslims to love one another for the sake of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala for the strength of the Ummah comes from the gathering of those who are united in devotion towards Allah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem.

• Solat puts to practice the principles of Islam and is the bedrock of a Muslim's Iman and Amal in Islam.

• Solat which is carried out according to the exact Sunnah of the Blessed Messenger Muhammad Sallalahu Alaihi Wassalam will bring forth many blessings and benefits to the praying soul that will enable a Muslim to pass through the afflictions of this Duniya and the Trials of the Akhirat with the ease of those who are blessed by the Almighty and attain a state of calmness that manifests the stature of the Believers before Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. The one who prays constantly to Allah is full of bliss and calmness derived from the realization that one has fulfilled one's obligations towards one's Creator in this world and shall be rewarded accordingly in the Hereafter?

• Solat will remove hardships and make one able to face the trials and tribulations of one's daily lives. Those who succeed in reaching a certain level of correctness in their Solat will attain a level of competency in their life and be able to handle whatever trials that comes up in their life?

• Solat removes sins, raises one's stature, increases the goodness in one's self and brings one closer to Allah, the Master and Overlord of all that we see or comprehend?

• Solat brings forth the gentle being in us, calms our hearts, brightens our outlook and nurtures our soul with the power of prayer.

• Solat has an effect on those who perform it by turning those who perform their Solat as trustworthy persons, be generous and kind towards others, calm and collected even when problems crop up and prevents one from ending up in the dregs of society.

• Solat is the food for the soul that never ends and spiritual fodder for the Believer.

• One who keeps his or her Solat to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala will find that his or her life will always be blessed and protected with the Blessings and Peace of Allah, our Most Gracious, Most Compassionate Creator.

• One who keeps firm to his or her Solat will find Allah's Help to be with him or her when major tests and fitnah that comes their way dissipate into nothingness as a result of their keeping to their part of the bai'ah that they keep with Ar Rahman in every prayer when they recite the Do'a Iftitah:

"Allahu Akbaru kabiraw

Walhamdu lillahi kathiraw

Wasubhanallahhi bukratau waasila.

Wajjahtu wajhia lillazi fataras sama wati wal ardha

Hanifam muslimaw wama ana minal musyrikin.

Inna solati wanusuki wamahyaya wammamati lillahi rabbil'alamin.

La syarikalahu wabiza lika umirtu wa ana minal muslimin."

Meaning

"Allah the Almighty, the Greatest of them all;

All praises be upon Him;

Allah The Most Exalted of them all, all day and all night;

I stand before The One Who created the skies and the lands;

I am ready to leave my fate in Allah's Hands;

And I am certainly not among those who associate Allah with other beings;

Indeed my Solat, my good deeds, my life and my death; I leave it all in the Hands of Allah; who administers the whole universe.

He has no rival or parallel whatsoever; and I have been ordered as such; and I am from those who embrace Islam!"

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